Thursday, December 19, 2013

Dear Santa...We Gotta Talk

Dear Santa and whomever else it may concern (creepy elves, Mrs. Claus, ect),

It's ME, Dachshund Nola. Listen, big guy, we gotta talk.
As you know since you're creepy and are ALWAYS watching...., I've been a very good girl all year long. I mean, did you really expect anything else? Okay, so there was that one time that happened several times where I got on the table to steal food. And there was that other time when I humped Augustine's head for three solid minutes. But that doesn't count, since we're in the south. You probably wouldn't know about things like that, being a northerner and all, but it's okay to do stuff like that down here. Anyways....oh, crap. I didn't tell you about that time I got out of the fence and knocked on the front door, did I? Maybe Mom told you; I gave her "a big fucking scare, you little shit!". Really though, you should be proud I have enough manners to knock. Oh, and I forgot about the time I stole all the chewies and hoarded them under Mom's MY pillow. Oh, and let's not forget- wait. Never mind that.
You know what, this is YOUR problem! You're quite vague on the "naughty" and "nice" thing. How am I suppose to know what counts as "naughty" and what's "nice"?  I mean, it's different for each person and dog, so really, you should be a little more flexible with this.
How about a deal? You forgot about all the "naughty" things I may or may not have done, and I'll forgive you for being a creepy old man who monitors my every move. After all, don't you think "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake" is taking things just a wee bit too far?


Okay, good. I'm glad we got that cleared up. Water under the bridge and all that. Let's move onto my Christmas list. I'd like:



  • A new Skineeez tug toy
  • A cow hoof or two

  • Paco Collars Xdog Mini
  • Moose antler





     That's all, Santa! *mwah!*



Sincerely,
Dachshund Nola

17 comments:

  1. We gotta agree with you Nola on the "creepy issue." Someone really watching us ALL the time? Isn't that what they call perverted? Shiver me timbers, we don't even want to think about it!

    Hugs,
    Lily Belle & Muffin
    p.s. Did a little Elf stop by your place the other day?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lovely! I love this pic of you may I use it as a photo reference?

    xx from ArtInMyAttic


    Check out my Pet Models, who got chosen off of a contest over on my FB page http://artinmyattic.blogspot.com.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice list! Wish I'd thought of asking for the moose antlers! Very elegant jeweled collar (I like the snowflake one you are wearing at the end too)! But watch out for what those hoofs do to your breath - my people wouldn't go near me after I gnawed on mine! Your pal, Toby

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah me's gotta agree bout dat CREEPY ting. Now me nose why me sleeps UNDER da blankets. Hmmmm...does you tink dat Santy Paws has x-ray vision? UhOh!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh we laughed and laughed.
    stella rose

    ReplyDelete
  6. He he, creepy and always watching - so true!
    Elliot has one of those foxes, he loves to play tug of war with it.
    Lynne x

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nola, I do not know how Santa could possibly think that you are "naughty". Anyone who looks into your eyes can see that you are an angel.
    *Cairn cuddles*
    Oz

    ReplyDelete
  8. We think you were just being a dackle and no one can expect anything else.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hehe yeah, I definitely agree about Santa being creepy. How unnerving is that to be told that he's always watching you? Yikes... I'm sure you'll get lots of nice presents for Christmas, sweet Nola :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. That sounds like a great deal. Santa should accept those terms I'm sure.

    ReplyDelete
  11. WE agree ... and since "HE" is a PEEP... we all know how they keep CHANGING the RULES fur what is Naughty.. So HOW could we pawsibly even KNOW what can and can't qualify fur GOOD.
    Santa may be kinda Creepy... butt SNOWFREAKS are EVIL.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh Nola! You are running your mouth too much and telling Santy all your secrets. BOL
    Lily

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ruh roh, Santa might be creepy but I think you might've just made him mad!

    ReplyDelete
  14. That's a pretty solid wish list. You just have to be a nice dog for another few days!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think you were good enough to get what you have on your list. I mean how many dogs bust out of the backyard to knock on the front door? I would have been a mile away after a squirrel or wabbit!

    ReplyDelete
  16. We are sure you are on the nice list! Great choices for gifts! Lee and Phod

    ReplyDelete
  17. We love these dagger toys! Eeee! Hoping for one for Xmas!

    http://sumskersandearlskers13.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for commenting!