Tuesday, October 15, 2013

One of the Many Perks of Having a Dachshund

     Hey, y'all! Dachshund Mommy here today. There are many reasons why I love having Dachshunds. Many, many reasons. They're the perfect mix of small (meaning easy to travel with) and a big dog attitude with big dog stamina and drive.
They're incredibly smart, focused when need be but without the seriousness of a Border Collie (that inability to calm down and act like a dumbass is a reason I'm not a BC fan as a whole. I'm not serious enough to handle one).
There's tons of variety with two "official" sizes, three different coat types, and more colors, patterns and hues than you can shake a stick at. They're funny, mischievous, adventurous, loyal, active and brave.

Squee! Baby Nola pic that has something to do with this post....

     But despite all their charms, none of the above is my favorite thing about the breed. My favorite thing about having a Dachshund is I can slip the word "wiener" into casual conversations without sounding like the huge pervert I am sex obsessed and immature (which I totally, totally am). Yes, I get a huge kick out of saying "wiener" and watching someone's face twist at the word, whether from it's from hearing a "naughty" word so innocently woven into polite chatter or because I've found a kindred spirt that shares my dirty mind. Let us see how these scenarios play out, shall we?

"Hey, what's up?"
"Oh nothing much. Just playing with my wiener. How 'bout you?"

"Aww, can I pet your dog?"
"Are you asking to pet my wiener?"

"Man, stressed right now!"
"I'm sorry, that sucks. Do you want to stroke my winer? That always makes me feel better."

"Want to hang out later?"
"Can't, I need to spend some quality time with my wiener."

"What's your favorite thing to do with your dog?"
"My wiener and I enjoy playing tug."

"What a beautiful dog!"
"Thanks! My wiener's a pretty nice specimen, isn't she? So long and hard...bodied."


     Oh yeah. I went there.

And you wonder where I get my lovely and perverted sense of humor.

Dachshund Mommy

PS: If you really think I only have a Dachshund so I can say a slang word for penis, kindly stick that theory were the sun doesn't shine.

14 comments:

  1. LOL....You are too funny! I bet you do shock a few people.

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  2. Saw this earlier browsing for beware of dog signs; Thought of you guys immediately!

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/108469409/dachshund-wiener-dog-do-not-enter-sign?ref=sr_gallery_28&ga_search_query=dog&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=all

    Bri

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  3. BOL! Too funny! I hadn't realized you could be so ....creative with a dachshund!

    Monty and Harlow

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  4. Hehe, there is nothing we like more than salacious innuendo :)
    Mum is still looking for the benefits of owning chihuahuas......
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

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  5. Sounds like the perfect pup
    Benny & Lily

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  6. Wow, I agree that dachshunds are totally cool! Besides Frankie & Ernie & You, lots of my bestest furiends are dachshies.
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, COP

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  7. Our best friend is a wiener.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

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  8. Too funny! Wish I had a wiener too. :)
    "You Did What With Your Wiener" is a great Dachshund blog too.

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  9. It is a perk to having a wiener dog! I lived in Tokyo with a wiener dog and really enjoyed it! Lee and Phod's Lady

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  10. I know that I like to lick my weiner but that is because I'm a boy. BOL!

    Walter

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  11. Everytime I see a dauchsund, I always say "OMG WEINERRRR!" Either that, or "I LOVE WEINERS!"

    Yup.

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  12. Thanks for a great laugh. I was going to use a joke like harrispen's but it's too late!

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  13. BOL!! Now Ma had to explain a few of those to me cause I'm such a cloistered young lass.....BOL!!! BOL!!! Oh, just kiddin', I was barkin' my fat arse off over heres!!
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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